i wonder what it is about pairs that people find to be so satisfying.
no, i don’t wonder. i know. it’s physicality. but they say that it goes deeper than that.
and while i don’t believe them, i may as well attempt to see what it is that they keep telling me about. why is it that couples are so popular, while friendships die?
i remember a time when groups were the new alone. i moved from spending time with individuals to spending time with groups, large and small, until the wee hours of the mornings. it doesn’t feel particularly long ago. perhaps a few years. and then something happened.
it may be the location change.
humans are social beings. it’s no secret but that seems to find itself more interpretations than repetitions.
a few years ago, i made a temporary shift in my policy on formal relationships. i allowed myself to partake in the couple equation. it was a massive mistake, to say the least. that’s not to say that i didn’t truly care about her; far from it. i don’t hear from my first girlfriend anymore but i’d still be there for her if she ever needed it. we all have our regrets but caring for someone is pure and forever.
my mistake was neglect.
i forgot the basic principle of group proximity and neglected my friends, which seems to have convinced many of them that i simply don’t care. and that is patently untrue.
i vowed never to do it again and promptly found the person whom i will always consider my soulmate. what we had went far beyond the typical definition of a relationship, though. there was time for others and, while it was never enough group activity for me, it worked.
but what is it that makes people want to be in pairs rather than in groups?
i don’t see the benefit.
we seem to have the ability to function in groups. is it that we get tired of having people around or is it that we get addicted to sex and forget that there is life beyond the twosome?
when i lived in a small town, miles from the city, people came to visit me spontaneously. when i asked why this was so infrequent, the answer was always the same. i lived in a small town, miles from the city. and there was no public transit. not to mention that people got summarily lost every time they ended up trying to visit.
so i decided to fix that. when i moved to vancouver, i found myself a lovely flat in east downtown, right on an express bus route and dead-center in a city that is the size of a postage stamp and walking-friendly.
and i think the amount of spontaneous visits is at an all-time low. but at least people don’t complain about me living far outside the city, anymore. i suppose that’s a plus.
there are all kinds of things that one can do alone, though, so i shan’t complain.
plus, when my friends get particularly concerned about me, they don’t so much visit and do things. i simply end up in hospital.
ah yes. two might be lonely. but one, at least, is safe.
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