singing is fun.
seriously.
not rock band and karaoke, mind you. those are fun in a way. but that usually involves more alcohol than should be socially acceptable and a fairly large probability that ears will not survive the evening without a particularly expansive likelihood of excruciating pain.
i mean choral singing.
choirs.
most of you know that i sing with several of them and have for as long as i can remember. church, school, university, private, rock, jazz, classical, renaissance, you name it. singing is far more enjoyable than you’d imagine.
and why am i telling you this?
just what happens to be on my mind.
i just figure that it might be a good time to relate my rules of choral singing.
first, small is good, large is bad. the smaller the group, the more capable it tends to be. and the more fun results. and the better the music. just a general rule. but i haven’t seen any exceptions. small is six. large is forty. massive is two hundred. just a guide.
difficult music is fun. easy music is boring. christmas music is an incentive to burn down the building. no exceptions.
men’s choirs sound bad. women’s choirs sound better. mixed choirs sound best. all other things being equal. unless they’re russian. then men’s choirs sound hardcore, women’s choirs sound pathetic and hairy, and mixed choirs sound like they belong in a church. just an observation, though.
music in english is badly written. music in french sounds like the soundtrack to a movie in which nothing happens. twice. music in russian sounds amazing. german music is hit-or-miss. italian music is difficult. long live italy.
madrigals are good. motets are good. chorales are an excuse to sleep. frequently. anything called a mass is likely heavy. a requiem is sad. and slow. and about death. and sounds like it. go figure.
happy music is good. unless it’s christmas music. in which case, see above. sad music is bad. some exceptions apply. some, not many, i tell you.
rock music done by choir is awesome. most of the time. unless it’s not. then it sounds kitsch. and kitsch is bad. unless you’re in russia. then it’s really bad. and you’ll get shot. by the mob. twice.
jazz choirs are either very good or very bad. no exceptions. very bad jazz sounds like a pet store at feeding time. with microphones. and a bass.
and they just ran out of birdseed.
if you’re in a choir where people raise their hands to admit mistakes, it’s likely a good sign.
it’s a good sign that people make a lot of mistakes.
but at least they know it.
and that’s the first step to improvement.
singing in hebrew is fun. singing in german is powerful. singing in english is mindless. arabic is unusual. mandarin is impossible. french is questionable, italian beyond simple, and english, did i mention english? singing in english is a painful experience that i would only wish on people in the faculty of education.
there you have it.
la.
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